As the COVID19 crisis grows, events are being canceled. Both events I had planned to do this spring are cancelled. Once the 2020 Storming of Thunder Ridge jersey arrives, I will own 4 jerseys for events I never got to do. 1 - 2018 Tour de Blount where those first 11 miles just don't count for all that transpired after. 2 - 2018 Big Pencil to Big Walker (held shortly after my 2nd hip surgery) 3 - 2018 Shenandoah Fall Foliage where I planned two days of riding with the second day being my second ever century. 4 - 2020 Storming of Thunder Ridge (was to be a milestone ride again near "crashiversary").
There's something in my brain that says while it's disappointing to have missed these events; there's something more to think about. These last three weeks frankly have sucked - we started Corona Virus Checkpoints that Monday, Joint Commission showed up on Tuesday and ever since work has felt like a freaking whirlwind of confusion and chaos. It's been mentally tiring, and it's really only just begun.
Emotions are a powerful thing - they can drag you down if you let them. I had to learn real fast in May of 2018 that life can change in an instance. Believe it or not, I learned a lot of patience and tolerance. I have forgiven that surgeon who fucked up my first surgery at the insistence of my second surgeon who said, "it happens; you are better; you will get stronger. Let it go." The rationale that I used to get over it was that without that intervention in TN, I would not have gotten home. I also would not have encountered hands down one of the most compassionate physicians ever who fixed me up. He is one person I worry for with this COVID19 shit. He likely wouldn't be on the front line so to speak; but trauma doesn't stop.
I worry for all of my nurse friends, my respiratory therapist friends, the providers, and my rad tech friends. The fire fighters, paramedics, and EMTs, all of those people who are literally standing in harms way.
I am angry - angry that they/we don't have the supplies we need. Angry that there are lapses in communication and we are wondering what is to come. Angry that we have a President who just doesn't seem to get it. Lie after lie - one ridiculous comment after another. It just doesn't make any sense.
I'm motivated though - I want to help. It's my nature, it's what has been ingrained in me for a lifetime. I can help and I will help. It's what I must do.
I guess the point of the 4 jerseys will always be reminders of what could have been; but also reminders of what you should do. They will serve as reminders of the physical strength and endurance it takes to complete the rides; but more powerfully a sign of the mental and emotional strength it took to get through the trials and tribulations of 2018 and now the COVID19 crisis.
I'm trying to be a voice of reason, of calming and reassurance. I'm trying to stay positive. We can get through this, but it's going to take everyone. Stay home if you can, stop hording stuff, look out for one another, share supplies with the hospitals, Fire/EMS if you can. This is just a surreal time. It's the most bizarre feelings. It's tiring, but we must all go forward. We are all stronger together.
There's something in my brain that says while it's disappointing to have missed these events; there's something more to think about. These last three weeks frankly have sucked - we started Corona Virus Checkpoints that Monday, Joint Commission showed up on Tuesday and ever since work has felt like a freaking whirlwind of confusion and chaos. It's been mentally tiring, and it's really only just begun.
Emotions are a powerful thing - they can drag you down if you let them. I had to learn real fast in May of 2018 that life can change in an instance. Believe it or not, I learned a lot of patience and tolerance. I have forgiven that surgeon who fucked up my first surgery at the insistence of my second surgeon who said, "it happens; you are better; you will get stronger. Let it go." The rationale that I used to get over it was that without that intervention in TN, I would not have gotten home. I also would not have encountered hands down one of the most compassionate physicians ever who fixed me up. He is one person I worry for with this COVID19 shit. He likely wouldn't be on the front line so to speak; but trauma doesn't stop.
I worry for all of my nurse friends, my respiratory therapist friends, the providers, and my rad tech friends. The fire fighters, paramedics, and EMTs, all of those people who are literally standing in harms way.
I am angry - angry that they/we don't have the supplies we need. Angry that there are lapses in communication and we are wondering what is to come. Angry that we have a President who just doesn't seem to get it. Lie after lie - one ridiculous comment after another. It just doesn't make any sense.
I'm motivated though - I want to help. It's my nature, it's what has been ingrained in me for a lifetime. I can help and I will help. It's what I must do.
I guess the point of the 4 jerseys will always be reminders of what could have been; but also reminders of what you should do. They will serve as reminders of the physical strength and endurance it takes to complete the rides; but more powerfully a sign of the mental and emotional strength it took to get through the trials and tribulations of 2018 and now the COVID19 crisis.
I'm trying to be a voice of reason, of calming and reassurance. I'm trying to stay positive. We can get through this, but it's going to take everyone. Stay home if you can, stop hording stuff, look out for one another, share supplies with the hospitals, Fire/EMS if you can. This is just a surreal time. It's the most bizarre feelings. It's tiring, but we must all go forward. We are all stronger together.
Comments
Post a Comment