Going home!

After being discharged from the hospital we had to stop at Walgreens to get my narcs, some aspirin and my poop thinner. We grabbed a bit of food then headed to the worst hotel in Townsend, TN. Mom and Dad had secured a room at Best Western as a place to stay since it was near the campground where my trailer was sitting. Dad was there one night then went home with my trailer in tow. Mom of course stayed behind to play chauffeur for me.

The hotel was decent but turned out they had no sympathy for our situation. Their front desk person was horribly rude when mom went to get ice

and discovered the 1st floor machine was out of order. She walks with a cane most of the time and was told she’d have to walk up the the 2nd floor to get it. No offer to get it for her, no offer to get some out of the nearby kitchen where the continental breakfast was prepared. Meh. Some people and places just suck. I think she ripped their customer service and we left some feedback on Google and Yelp.

Anyway she left me briefly in the room to retrieve dinner for us. After eating we watched some TV but soon I was ready to sleep again. Of course the two of us are like two clowns. We laughed and laughed at the overall situation and the underwear tragedy. She offered hers to me, but she is bigger than me and hers were too big. For some reason logic left us, we never thought to just go buy some but it was a drive back to Maryville or Alcoa where most of the stores were.

Morning would come and we were facing a long day. Mom doesn’t drive long distances as me or Dad usually drive. I don’t ride in the backseat because I get car sick. None the less the first feat would be getting in the car again. The way the parking lot was sloped made the drivers side of the car higher. It hurt a lot to even start getting in. Eventually I managed to slide in and soon we were on the way.

I was texting my new TN friends Eleanore and Julie to bid them farewell and let them know we were on our way. I teared up as we passed the hospital. Emotions tend to hit me at the oddest times.

We stopped for breakfast in the car. And soon were on I40 heading home. The drive would be long, but I was mostly comfortable. At one point the nausea started to creep. Oh no. Gulp. Phew. Mom. Mom, don’t panic but you need to take the next exit please. I grabbed one of the many bath pans the BMH staff had provided us and soon Mt St Jen erupted.

Raallllpphhh, next exit please. Mom: are you ok? Me: Yes just keep driving, rallllpphhhh, I’m fine just take the next exit, Eeeaaarllllll. One Ralph and Earl were extricated from the car I didn’t get sick again.

The hospital had encouraged us to stop and walk around on the way home. Sure if you can get I and out of the car, but Jesus people it’s 80+ and humid. Ugh! We pulled into a rest area (in retrospect, not sure why we didn’t go to Pilot, but like I said neither of us was thinking with our full brain). This must be the dumbest handicap accessible rest area in TN. The parking is at the bottom of a hill and the building at the top. Is anything going to be simple? Fuck no. So I managed to get out and get up on my good foot to start this hike up Mt Everest. Now mind you I’m two days into this walker walking, non-weight bearing situation and the extent of my experience is on flat surfaces.

I’m deathly afraid I’m going to fall back down the hill and I feel like shit. We eventually made it up to the building all the while people are staring at us. Haven’t you ever seen a 44y/o on a walker being helped by a 68y/o lady? Geez.

 

We tend to our business then it’s time to go back down the hill. I was just as scared going back as up. Mom was staying in front to keep the walker from rolling away. I think one or two people finally asked what was up. Mom explained. They were all like OMG can we help? No thank you. I just wanted to sit down. The dizziness and pain was not fun. Our drive took about 7 hours. Normally it’s more like 5.

I would tear up again as we crossed the state line into VA. I was going home and was never happier to see that sign. Two more hours and we would be home.

Even arriving at home didn’t mean the challenges were over. I have steps anyway you go getting in. My favorite neighbor was there when I got home but he wouldn’t stay long. I think he knew i felt bad. Soon one of my best friends pulled up. I had texted him to see if he would come over and help me with the stairs. He is a career firefighter and I trusted that he could help us.

We wound up using a bath stool and a dog leash on the top door hinge to acrobatically get in the house. We were so grateful for Rodney. He soon ran to a couple of stores for us and picked up a transfer bench for the shower, some rails to go in the toilet and a pull-up bar which we rigged up with my TRX trainer to use for the inside step.

The home adventures were just beginning.